Everyday is different. My moods tend to change daily and dramatically. I can be happy one moment and moody the next.
One of the most troubling thing is not having a consistent sense of self. My memories are separate and stand alone, they aren't connected. I don't have a fluid sense of people and who they are. My views change dramatically from week to week and month to month on religion, politics, and even my relationships.
To be honest, I don't really notice the change until its pointed out to me. To me, my irrationality has become slightly logical over time. I'm becoming aware now of the different patterns and how all over the place I am. The problem is I still don't know what my core beliefs actually are.
The worst part is not constantly going back and forth between extremes, which is tiring, but the toll it takes on those people close to me. When I'm consistently changing, its hard for people to grasp who I am. The worst part is seeing the frustration this is causing the people I love.
One of the most troubling thing is not having a consistent sense of self. My memories are separate and stand alone, they aren't connected. I don't have a fluid sense of people and who they are. My views change dramatically from week to week and month to month on religion, politics, and even my relationships.
To be honest, I don't really notice the change until its pointed out to me. To me, my irrationality has become slightly logical over time. I'm becoming aware now of the different patterns and how all over the place I am. The problem is I still don't know what my core beliefs actually are.
The worst part is not constantly going back and forth between extremes, which is tiring, but the toll it takes on those people close to me. When I'm consistently changing, its hard for people to grasp who I am. The worst part is seeing the frustration this is causing the people I love.
1 comment:
I am sorry life is so confusing for you right now. I can promise you one thing, regardless of where you land, your Heavenly Father loves you. He does. He loves Ann Weidman. You are and will always be HIS daughter. Take comfort in that, even when the rest of the world seems upside down and you feel alone. He hasn't ever left you and He won't. Just listen... He is there. He is cheering you on and loving you through this time in your life. For what it is worth, I love you. Always have. Always will.
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